I have a confession to make. I have been struggling lately. Struggling with my plan to make quilting a successful business. Struggling to define what success means to me. Wondering if this is just a serious — seriously expensive — hobby. Wondering if it will be, or can be, more.
When I first starting blogging a little over a year ago I had no real plan for my blog. I saw it as a way to reach out to other quilters who like the same types of fabrics and designs that I do. I was so excited when I saw there was a community of people who liked brighter colors, contemporary prints, and modern designs and I wanted to be a part of that community.
Leaving my corporate job almost 2-1/2 years ago was definitely one of the best decisions I have ever made. Most people in my life have since commented that I am like a different person – happier, calmer, less stressed. My youngest son told me that I smile a lot more now.
It became a natural progression then to try to make a little money doing something that I enjoyed so much and that allows me to be me. A creative, smiling, more peaceful, happier me. I jumped in, bought a new machine, applied for a business license, set up wholesale accounts with a few suppliers and started quilting. I worked on my blog, opened an Etsy store, and became an affiliate for Craftsy. And in the process of doing this I have spent a lot of money. I have made a little money. I think I have this backwards.
Even while doing all this work, doubt was eating away at me. Quietly, but always there. The amount of negative talk that goes on in my mind astounds me some times. While dealing with all this inner turmoil, I have still been trucking along. I have hidden well all my doubts – no one knows, until now, how I have questioned myself and the decisions I have made.
Over the last couple of months I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, praying, and having a lot of discussions with my husband ( who should be called Saint Mike for dealing with me daily!) And after all this time I have finally found the missing component, the one thing that will make Cooking Up Quilts successful.
I do not believe I can make quilting a profitable business.
What did I just say??? You heard me. All this time, doing all this work, and I have never really believed I would be able to make it work.
My husband believes in me. My sister believes in me. Heck, even her friends believe in me. I am the only one who didn’t really trust and believe in myself.
Once I realized what was missing, it was like a bomb exploded in me. Wow! I didn’t believe in myself! Is it any wonder that I am going nowhere fast?
I am finally ready to admit I am at a crossroads. It is time to either let go and dive in to this quilting thing head first, or go back to my day job. I absolutely do NOT want to go back to work in a corporate setting. I cannot say that loudly or strongly enough.
It is time for me to believe. It is time to let go of the fear, and of the doubt. It is time to believe in myself, in my skills, and in my ability. Most of all, it is time to stand tall and be proud of who I am and what I do.
I am truly committed to believing in myself and where I can go with this quilting adventure. It has taken me a while to figure all this out, but now that I am truly ready I don’t want to let the doubts and negativity have any place to live in my head. I know this is what I am supposed to be doing at this time in my life.
So, to remind me of this promise to believe in myself I have made this mini for my sewing room.
It is nothing fancy, and didn’t take me long to do but it is so very me. When I walk into my sewing room each morning, I will see it and be reminded I have a purpose and a passion to fulfill. I am a very visual person and this little quilt will be the visual cue I need when I start to waver or have a difficult day. It is hanging above my machine and will be the first thing I see when walking into the room.
I am so excited to get up each morning and see what the day brings now. I can’t wait to share it all with you!